What you need to understand, that a lot of the rest of the developed western world are not putting prizes or importance on virginity. And somehow, days later, I am still being deliberately taken out of context. Which is when dear Zak responded with all with a diatribe about butt stuff and bla bla bla. Whereupon I said wrt how is virginity a scam. It was a reply to Samuel Pelaton who said virginity is just a scam. I do struggle to understand how some people think. My initial comment still stands because the entire concept is ludicrous. I do take execption to being taken out of context and deliberately pilliored. A reason as a country you are so divided because you keep jamming your own pesonal interpretations of things down each others throat. Upvotes Follow Unfollow 1 day ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017 The first step would be to not tell your partner to wear a red dress to your wedding. Instead, focus on making the present better and the fact that not everything will be as ‘ideal’ as you imagine it ‘should’ be-you might need to develop a more grounded approach to what life, dating, and relationships are actually like. It only adds tension to the relationship. This is what’s called romantic perfectionism, and it’s completely unrealistic. What’s more, you should give up on the illusion that you can ‘control’ how your partner thinks and feels. “You don’t need to resurrect the past to get on with your life,” Leahy explains. Also, keep in mind that past relationships ended for a reason. At the same time, don’t turn your relationship into a trial: throwing accusations and interrogating your partner will only hurt your relationship. Next, accept these feelings for what they are. ![]() So don’t think that you are crazy because you have these feelings.” Any competition is viewed as a current threat. In fact, in some cultures there remains an insistence on ‘virginity’ for new partners, although it is often not possible, practical, or desirable. “This kind of jealousy is normal and simply reflects the primitive human desire to be the only one-ever. Leahy, Ph.D., writes on Psychology Today that the first thing you can do is normalize your feelings. Image credits: Tima Miroshnichenko (not the actual photo) Try not to turn your relationship into a ‘trial.’ Instead, focus on the present But they require some messy introspection and work with your emotions-something that not every individual is willing to do. Fortunately, there are ways to get around this common mind trap. You’re getting worked up and endangering your future together over memories. Instead of focusing on the present and how great the relationship might be going, you keep ruminating about the past which you literally can’t control. Some examples of retrospective jealousy include wondering if your significant other’s previous partners were better lovers, whether they want to go back to them, and whether they still fondly remember their time together. They feel like something that happened years ago might threaten their current relationship, so they keep dwelling on this fact, instead of embracing it and letting it go. It’s what happens when one or both partners feel jealous about the other’s past. So-called retrospective jealousy is actually a common issue for couples. Or, in this case, ‘Ryan’ somehow decided that the fact that he wasn’t the first person his ex-fiancée dated was somehow more important than having a loving relationship with her. The best way to misery and unhappiness is to constantly keep comparing yourself to others. ![]() Image credits: Vivek Dabi (not the actual photo) Retrospective jealousy can completely wreck your relationship
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